kNOw More Orphans

"I would love to adopt but I just don't think we can afford it." 

"I wish I could help care for orphans but I don't know where to even begin."

"I don't think God has called me help orphans, but I'm glad you are passionate about it."

These are comments I hear ALL of the time! Since we've been so open about our adoption and have shared as much of the process as we can with anyone that wants to be a part of it, pretty much everyone I encounter knows our story and wants to talk about adoption (which is WONDERFUL). What I don't think people realize is all of the above comments have come out of my mouth at some point in my life :) In fact, they were thoughts I was still struggling with this time last year when we were really wrestling with the idea of our own adoption. 

What I want everyone to know is WE couldn't afford it...WE didn't have a clue where to begin...and God gave us the passion to adopt but he CALLED us ALL as followers of Christ to care for orphans :) I'm so thankful we felt that "nudge" to be obedient in adoption after hearing a wonderful teacher and leader in orphan care/adoption ministry. So I want to make sure all of our friends, supporters, encouragers and prayer warriors are aware of a great opportunity in Birmingham to hear several great leaders in adoption/orphan care ministry and learn more about the worldwide orphan crisis and ways we can help!

The conference is called kNOw More Orphans and it will feature speakers Russell Moore (the author of Adopted for Life, a MUST read) Rick Morton (co-author of Orphanology, also a MUST read), David Nasser (who needs no introduction :) ) and several others I'm not as familiar with but I'm sure will be blessed by. Worship will be led by Rush of Fools, Shaun Groves and a precious group called His Little Feet. It is on March 10th at Hunter Street Baptist Church and tickets are only $28 (and that includes lunch and a t-shirt). If you've ever wondered if you should adopt or wanted to get involved in helping orphans but don't know how or just have questions about what scripture teaches us about caring for the "fatherless"...I'm sure you'll find some answers here. This is a great ministry and I hope everyone that is able to support them will do so. The website to register is www.knowmoreorphans.org or watch the below video for more information. 

I hope to see you there :)

http://vimeo.com/35353476

my birthday wish

"In life God uses the sum of our experiences to minister to other people. If anybody can speak the truth, it's a guy who's been where another person is going. Otherwise, it's just a guy giving advice. People who can draw from a well of experience tend to speak from a different place. In Psalm 42, King David is in the wilderness. He's speaking out of his own hurt and honesty, but he also knows that God can use this wilderness time to be glorified. He puts his soul on notice: Why am I so depressed? Why this turmoil within me? Put your hope in God, for I will still praise Him, my Savior and my God. (Ps. 42:5) David knows that his situation is temporary, so it's time to move on and give the glory to God. He knows that trials happen, but God is sovereign. He knows that as soon as he gets to worshipping, his mind will be off of the temporary and on the eternal. He knows this because he's been here before. When you're in the middle of a wilderness, remember that God ordains us to go through certain trials so that the validity of our testimony can speak into the lives of others. He uses our scars as beauty marks-badges of honor that can be used as roadmaps for others to further His Kingdom." 
David Nasser

Today marks another year of my life. While I want to celebrate because of the MANY blessings God has given me, I'm instead longing for the one I don't....to have our WHOLE family together. But this is temporary so today I will worship my God who is the maker of joy and contentment. In this, I'll turn my mind on things eternal and not my trouble in this world :)

I couldn't ask for a better gift today than to have everyone that reads this blog to be praying for our adoption and our family. This prayer is my birthday wish..."to "join together" sweet Levi with us, his adopted family. Give us the honor of raising this precious child in Your word and to model for him what being a Christ-follower looks like.  Use us to accomplish the story you wrote before creation and make one less orphan alone in this world. And I ask in this next year of my life for You to guide me in how to care for more of the fatherless. Not only grow that passion but give it vision; show me how to love a world that's broken, how to be your hands and feet, how you want to use me to see this world be changed...By the Power of Your Name. Amen"

Thankful for another birthday and an amazing family to share it with...

Where I should be...

Today we SHOULD be boarding a plane. We should be anxiously anticipating our arrival in St. Petersburg on Monday. We should be beyond excited about our visit with Levi on Tuesday...a great way to spend Valentine's Day! We should be nervous about court on my birthday Wednesday. We should be hoping to get another visit with our OFFICIAL son again on Thursday before we board a plane back to the States that night. We should be dreading the LONG flight home after a tearful goodbye but at peace knowing that in only 30 days we will return to pick him up and bring Levi home FOREVER...

But it appears that was OUR plan...God had a different plan. A plan we don't know yet. A plan we daily pray over. A plan I daily cry over. But a plan we trust will be perfect because the God of all creation...the creator of my life, of Dustin, Carsyn, Sara Kate and Levi... wrote it. As I watched my two precious girls yesterday I couldn't help but think "He created such blessings through a plan that was NOT my own (if you know the story behind each of them you know their conception and birth's were vastly different and neither were anything like I planned them to be) yet here we are and I wouldn't change a thing." It was HIS perfect plan. 

I know I am not the only mother that has looked at her child and thought "Surely this wasn't THE PLAN?" I have several friends right now dealing with the illness of a child; unsure of how it will all turn out. I know deep down they are seeking comfort, peace and answers to the change in the plans they had for their family. I think back to Mary. What she must have been thinking as she saw her SON...the savior of the world but most all, her baby boy...being beaten and mocked, suffering as he hung on a cross til his death? At that moment she must have thought "This can't be what God intended." Even Jesus himself in "the Garden" of Gethsemane asked if their was any other way. He "struggled" with a plan that He wouldn't choose BUT He trusted His Father's plan was best. Now, looking back 2000 years we KNOW there was never a more perfect plan. 

Today I am right where I SHOULD be. It still hurts and I still struggle everyday with worry and fear. But when I look at Levi, I trust in the cross (the most unconventional plan ever). God captures my heart over and over again through this trial and I'm always reminded He is in control, He is faithful, He is sovereign! Faith, Trust and Hope...we have all of these things in the most High God and I have no doubt there will be a day I will look back and see there was never a more perfect plan for my family.

Thankful He has allowed me to be part of His plan....

Please remember to pray for our family and our adoption process everyday at 11:17 am...or whenever you can! We are so thankful for your prayer!

I have always found comfort in music and lately God has used it to "calm me down" on days when I just want to lose it. This song is beautiful and if you listen to the words it brings to light just how human AND holy Jesus really was....and the guitar in it is amazing :)

Lord, please make me more like you! :)

I need a favor....

"BUT WHEN HE ASKS, HE MUST BELIEVE AND NOT DOUBT, BECAUSE HE WHO DOUBTS IS LIKE A WAVE OF THE SEA, BLOWN AND TOSSED BY THE WIND. THAT MAN SHOULD NOT THINK HE WILL RECEIVE ANYTHING FROM THE LORD. HE IS A DOUBLE-MINDED MAN, UNSTABLE IN ALL HE DOES." JAMES 1:6-8

What a blessing it is that God puts us in the right place, exactly where we need to be when we need to be there. Not so coincidentally I am doing a bible study right now in the book of James. As I study my lessons I can't help but hear Beth Moore say in the intro video "you never know what life will bring in the course of a study." And my goodness did I ever think we'd be in this place right now? Absolutely not! How providential and sovereign is the God we serve...

I was reminded of the above verse today in an email from my friend Amanda. I have to admit this weekend was tough and if I'm honest with myself I have prayed with a spirit of defeat...of doubt. And if anything describes the way I've felt the past few days it's "like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind." But no more...I know God will bring Levi home to us. And I will be praying with expectance that this will happen. 

Many of you have asked what you can do or how can you help? The answer simply is nothing BUT PRAY! This is my favor. If you want to help us during this time of uncertainty please pray with us everyday at 11:17 am...or anytime in between:) I chose 11:17 because it happens to be the birthday of a sweet little boy we are quite fond of :) (wink, wink!) And if you want to go a step further, please comment below or message me somehow that you will be joining us in prayer each day until we have a court date. You have no idea how much this encourages me. Every time I hear "we are praying for ya'll" it takes the sting out just a little bit more. Here is what I'll be praying for....pray with me or however God leads you but please pray in belief on our behalf :)

1) For our family (Dustin, Amber, Carsyn, Sara Kate & Levi) for comfort, protection & peace. 

2) For a court date as soon as possible in March.

3) To have Levi HOME in Alabama not later than May 2012.

4) For the people in Russia-leadership (our judge specifically), citizens, orphans.

The very last verse of James 1 is the verse that is commonly used with regard to adoption but I think it 's an appropriate reminder of where our focus needs to remain...His glory!

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after the orphans and the widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

Thankful today for so many people praying and encouraging us through this journey, but most thankful for my "other rock." I can't imagine walking through this with anyone else. You always know exactly what I need. I love you the most! :)

Indian Giver

So when we started the adoption process I told my mom someone should make a reality show about adoption so people that haven't gone through it could get just a glimpse of what is involved. There have been many moments over the past 9 months that I've thought back to that comment and thought "NOPE if people were experiencing every minute of this with us then no one would ever want to adopt and there are too many kids that need loving homes." Today is probably the worst day of this process so far but God knew it was coming and he sent an 'angel wearing flannel' to encourage and comfort me yesterday for the coming "storm." :)

I was having lunch with Dustin and the girls at Chick-Fil-A yesterday when I noticed a very elderly women walking in the parking lot towards the restaurant. I thought "Awe, sweet lady" to myself as I always do when I see older people. I'm not sure why but in my mind I think most elderly are probably lonely and sad...and that's probably not the case most of the time. I guess I just think that if I lose Dust and have seen my life pass me by I'll be sad and lonely...I don't know. Anyway, I didn't really pay any more attention to the lady as she left my field a vision. A little later I was looking around through the chaos of the kids area in Chick-Fil-A and noticed she was sitting directly behind me, just gazing out the window. Because I refuse to eat alone I think everyone else must want company too :) so I struck up a conversation with her. "It's a beautiful day today!" She perked up and smiled and said "Yes. It's like summer. If I'd known I wouldn't have worn this flannel shirt!" Without me saying another word she went on to tell me she was 84 years old and she has a 4 year old grandson. "That's right." she said. "He's my grandson...not great grandson. You see he was adopted from Guatemala." She told me the whole story of his adoption and how there were many uncertain times during the process because the country was beginning to shut down while her daughter was in the middle of the process. And then she said "But you know what? GOD IS GOOD AND HE IS IN CONTROL!" I sat in disbelief as she told her story. I was only half listening because in my head I was talking to myself. "WHO IS THIS LADY? Am I in the presence of God? Is this an angel? What do I do? Do I cry? Do I interrupt and tell her about our adoption and the scary uncertain news we received just the day before? She probably already knows...she was obviously sent to encourage me. Do I fall at her feet? Would everyone think I'm crazy?" I was paralyzed in unbelief. I did nothing at first. Then I shared with her about our adoption of Levi and how we'd been told the day before that things in Russia are getting tense. There is a lot of political tension in that country right now and adoption is a target of one of the new leaders about to win the upcoming election. I told her we have a court date but we were nervous because nothing is certain right now with all of the political pressure and turmoil. She said "well, I'll be praying for little Levi and you just remember God is in control. No need to worry!" And with that she gathered her things and said "Well, have a good day." 

It was a bizarre and sweet encounter to say the least but I knew it was a gift from God. I immediately told my mom and my sweet friend Amy about "the angel in flannel" God sent to me at Chick-Fil-A. She had soft white hair, wrinkles, a sweet smile and the most precious child-like voice.  I had not told her a single thing about me or my life but she brought the message I needed. She encouraged and comforted me with just a simple story and most importantly she reminded me "God is good and He is in control." And I believe God sent her at just the right time. He knew at that point I was already having to constantly give my worry over our upcoming court date and the overall outcome of the adoption to Him AND HE KNEW ABOUT THE NEWS WE'D RECEIVE TODAY...

Today our court date has been canceled. No one likes an "Indian giver" and personally I think this is the most cruel birthday gift someone could ever take from me! :) No adoption decree's will be issued until after the courts resume(March 12th) after the election is over on March 4th. This is scary on so many levels. This is so much deeper than our adoption, our judge, our case. This encompasses levels of government leadership, power struggles and ideologies that will effect millions of people. Even with the enormity of this challenge staring us down there is that sweet soft, child-like voice from yesterday saying "But you know what? GOD IS GOOD AND HE IS IN CONTROL!"  

Several sweet friends have asked me if "I'm okay?" The truth is no I'm not okay :) BUT I trust that God is good, He is sovereign, He is faithful to us and He loves me, my family and my Levi more than I can ever imagine. We are hopeful we will get another court date sometime the end of March. We are begging God to let us complete this process and bring our son home! Please pray with us...