Thankful in St. Petersburg

So Thanksgiving 2011 was not our typical family gathering and meal but is one we'll definitely always remember. We spent time at the orphanage, ate a late lunch/early dinner at a fabulous Indian restraurant, took a nap and then got to talk to the most beautiful girls in the world via Skype. It was different but good...we missed family and the wonderful food but I asked Dustin if he even remembered what we did last year for Thanksgiving. He smiled and said "Usually it's just a blur because we are running from one house to another." Many times we need a change from 'the norm' to really appreciate just how great what we have is! I think this was a nice change this year, especially because we did get to visit with our special little guy...and we officially gave him his name!

In honor of our Thanksgiving in St. Petersburg I've decided to do a list of what I'm thankful for THIS WEEK...I'm always thankful for my Savior, my family, health, and the many other blessings surrounding me. This is a list of things I'm thankful for but it took me being half a world away to realize it :)

1) A name...FINALLY! We have been going back and forth over this sweet boy's name for months but on Thanksgiving day it was time to put it on paper for his new birth certificate and at the very last minute we agreed on his full name, LEVI JAMES POLK. James is a family name passed down to Dustin from his grandfather and Levi means "joined in harmony." And that's exactly what is happening...he acts like we have always been his parents. We are so ready for the honor!

2) Fellow believers around the world. Being in a strange country where everyone is talking in a language you can not understand there is a great comfort when you enter an elevator with a solemn looking man who begins to stare at the Bible you are holding and after a minute reaches for the chain around his neck, revealing a cross and then smiles and says "Christo!"....and a bunch of other stuff I totally didn't understand but know He was excited about Christ:) Such a sweet encounter!

3) Fur. I never saw fur beyond a fashion statement until coming to St. Petersburg but wow, the cold wind and dreary, icy rain will cut to the bone quick if you aren't dressed just right. I'm so thankful for my fur lined boots, hat, and gloves...and thankful this trend is popular in Birmingham so I could find the right attire for the trip. Who knew it was cute AND practical in some parts of the world :)

4) Cinnamon. It wasn't until this trip that I realized how much I like cinnamon in my coffee. All of my favorite Starbuck's drinks and creamer flavors have cinnamon in them. I ordered a cappuccino from our hotel cafe and it was surprisingly good. I didn't expect it to be because they used just milk and espresso but then topped it with cinnamon, I added some sugar and it was just like my "Christmas in a cup" from Starbucks :) When it comes to coffee in my world, cinnamon = perfection! 

5) Window's that open. It may be frigid outside but inside it's about 80 degrees...not an exaggeration! And that is in every building we enter, including our hotel room. So crazy enough it is below freezing temps and we have our window open! But it occurred to me yesterday, I don't open my windows up enough at home. I think that is going to change :) Even though it's cold, the fresh air is nice!

6) Russia is on Polk time. :) We've heard some people say one frustrating part of being "in country" is no one is on time or in a hurry to do anything. Well, it's funny because it seems here we are always right on time and the pace is very comfortable to us. But then again, in the States we are ALWAYS late and running behind. It's been nice not to feel rushed or be late to any of our appointments. So maybe Russia just runs on "Polk" time...or vice versa :)

7) A heated floor...I've heard of these but I've never experienced one! WOW, it makes getting up early in the mornings, exhausted from jet lag so much better. Just the bathroom tile is heated so when we come in from the cold I'll go sit in the bathroom on the warm tile. Another quirky memory I'll probably never forget from St. Petersburg :) 

8) An agency we can trust. We have been very pleased with our agency up to this point but we had no idea just how wonderful they actually are until we got here. The staff in Russia may be even sweeter and more organized than the ladies in the US...something I didn't think was possible! Again, I'm very limited by what I can share in this area so I'll just say it's no coincidence God led us to them and I hope to continue our relationship for a long time to help them find families for the many children in need.

9) Special people caring for my children...this is two parts: family and total strangers. First having my mom watch our girls while we are 10 time zones away has given me a peace that I'm so grateful for. Dustin's parents have also helped. Having that comfort of knowing they are being better cared for (or should I say more spoiled:)) with Motty and Maw maw than they are with me makes this experience so much more enjoyable. I always thank God for our family, but this week I think I've prayed more and thanked God more for them than I have in a long time...I have a renewed appreciation. The other people in this category are total strangers. We do not speak the same language and will never have a relationship but I will be forever grateful for the wonderful caregivers, doctor and social worker at orphanage #??.  When I think Russian orphanage I think sad, scary, and cold. This facility and these ladies are anything but that. They are like precious grandmother's loving and caring for their babies. This is not just their job, it is their heart. They have cared so well for our son and have brought him through his first year of life as a healthy, happy, beautiful baby boy when ALL odds were against him at birth. These precious ladies will always be in my heart and in my prayers.

And lastly...

10) Conviction and passion...in our case, for orphans. I was recently asked again what made us want to adopt. Sometimes in the craziness of this process I forget how it all started...with a passion God laid on hearts many years ago to care for the orphan and a conviction the beginning of this year to do something about it!

Our adoption coordinator shared yesterday that the most wonderful part of her job is getting to interact with the children in the orphanage. She sees them frequently and they get to know her pretty well. But the hardest part of her job is they also know when she is there it's because she is finding a home for ONE of them. She said she cries every time one of the children looks up at her and asks "Have you found me a mommy and daddy?" And most of the time she must respond, "no, not yet..." 

If you've ever considered adopting or just had the thought cross your mind that maybe you would want to open your heart and home to an orphaned child, please cover it in prayer and seriously consider that may have been the Holy Spirit moving in you and not just a fleeting thought. We are told to care for the fatherless, not asked. It isn't something we are called to do, it is something we are commanded to do. Whether it be your own adoption, supporting someone else adopting or giving to and volunteering in orphan care ministry both domestically and internationally.  Please don't let anything stand in the way of caring for these precious children. We never thought we could afford it and we weren't looking forward to the crazy process we'd have to go through...and to be honest none of that has changed. But somehow, here we are! We've never heard of a couple that said they had the money to adopt, but we've also never heard of anyone that wasn't able to bring a child home because of a lack of funds. God will bless adoption...He will provide the way. Just step out in faith and obedience. 

James 1:27

Pure & genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans & widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.

So thankful from the bottom of my heart....

these are the days of our lives...

Today is the day... not "the" day... but the day we travel to Russia. There has been a lot that had to happen before this day could come. GOD amazes me every step of this radical walk. There are days I think He must be the biggest 'jokester' because of the hoops we've had to jump through. Some days I wonder if Satan asked if he could "play" and GOD said 'go ahead and have your fun but it won't stop them from marching on.' Then there are days I wondered if we were crazy and if this was really something we are suppose to be doing. :) But ultimately I remember no one and nothing can stop the will of God. His will for us is to glorify and serve Him. His will for us is to share His love and message with the world we've been assigned. About 2000 years ago he used a baby boy to accomplish that. And TODAY, he is using another baby boy to keep HIS message going.  I am humbled to be getting on a plane today...a step closer to meeting one of God's most precious gifts.... OH GLORIOUS DAY!

...but don't tell anyone!

Do you remember the agony of being told something when you were younger and then being told..."But you can't tell anyone!" When I was about 5 my mom bought my dad a new fishing rod as a gift and made the mistake of telling me about it. Needless to say it didn't stay a surprise...if you've known me for more than a minute you know staying quiet is not my strength but yet I'm in a situation now where sharing "the news" can negatively affect something very important to our family! Imagine the struggle my big mouth has had over the past 6 months!!! Isn't it funny how God frequently puts us exactly where are our weaknesses must be made strong? I can't tell you how many un-posted entries there are on this blog. I was given the great advice early in this process to journal along the way so even though I can't publicly share everything now, I'll have all of the details of this incredible journey in print to one day share with anyone willing to listen :) But today I'm happy to be able to report...we will be spending Thanksgiving in Russia with our sweet baby boy!

We leave this coming weekend and we'll be there a little over a week. This will be our first trip. We will have to go back two more times before we get to bring him home. I dare not give an estimate of when that will be...just pray instead for travel mercies, protection over our ENTIRE family and provision to complete the adoption. 

The last few days have been pretty crazy around our house...who am I kidding? The last few MONTHS have been crazy around our house! But yesterday the verse from John 16:33 came into my head. "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." As I read it I thought..."Oh no Lord, what are you preparing me for now." The day went on pretty normal. I found my typical adoption related obstacles and frustrations and then got a call from the girls school letting me know Carsyn was really sick (tummy/fever virus)...which I should have totally expected given all that we have going on this week. Nothing overwhelming just regular "stuff" to distract my attention from the all of the good we have to be thankful for. The day ended with a visit to the Secretary of State's office in Montgomery to have even more documents apostilled before this trip. As I walked in I saw that the office I normally go to was dark...or course, my immediate reaction was "no they can not be closed after I drove all this way." And if you're familiar with the journey we've been on through this adoption you would understand that yes, in fact, that would be very typical of the experiences we've had :) But no, they were open. Just the lady (let's call her Ms. J) that normally helps me was out. As another sweet lady helped me I asked about Ms. J...I was looking forward to seeing her. She has been an encouragement to me every time I've visited for an apostille. I learned that she was out because her mother had passed away very unexpectedly. After a few minutes of hearing the details of what happened and the grief Ms. J is experiencing John 16:33 popped into my head again. I asked the lady to please share this verse with her the next time they speak but she was so encouraged she immediately put it in an email and sent it on.  As I was leaving I thought about how awesome it is that God puts people in our path to uplift us. He has used Ms. J to encourage me and ease some adoption related frustrations in the past. I had no idea why that scripture was laid on my heart until I heard about my sweet sister in Christ that is in such pain and needed the encouragement..."take heart! HE has overcome the world."

Driving home something the lady told me about Ms. J kept re-playing in my head..."She is so disappointed because it just didn't go like they expected." How many of my expectations haven't been met since this adoption began? Since we received our referral? Since we received our travel date? Since yesterday? :) Am I adding to my own grief everyday because I set expectations for the way things "should" work out instead of just seeking the ONE who has overcome the world? John 16:33 was for me :) The 'trouble' we will experience isn't always life changing like the death of a loved one...it's recording a password incorrectly causing yourself hours more of work. It's not being able to find enough crisp new bills after visiting 10 different banks. It's having a holiday that shuts down many of the offices you need important documents from in an urgent manner. :) Trouble isn't just tragedy, it's the daily frustrations of life that distract us from our peace and joy in Christ. 

So friends...let me tell you what is "troubling" me so you can specifically pray for us: :)

-being apart from our children (both in Russia and in the US)

-the "stuff" that must be done before we travel

-a sick little girl and fear that she'll share her germs with the rest of us

-my back "issues" (yes it is still bothering me!) 

-raising the additional $5000 we need to cover our adoption expenses

Your prayer support means more to us than you know. If you'd like to also support us financially, I've added a page on the left of this that gives details on how you can make a tax-deductible donation. Also, the fundraiser we are doing on http://ironbowladoption.com/ is coming to a close on November 25th. If you'd like to give by voting for your favorite school or passing on our site to your fellow Auburn or Alabama fans, we'd be so appreciative. (BTW, there is a new update on the website about an extra incentive to donate... go check it out!!!) We have felt so loved and encouraged through this process and as this walk is coming to an end, all I can say is THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart and KEEP PRAYING!!! :)

Polk...party of 5!!!

That's right! We have a referral :) We actually had recieved his information and pictures when I wrote the last post but we had not "officially" accepted him yet...although that was just a formality I didn't want to post the good news until we were certain!

I am not allowed to share many, well actually pretty much any, details about our little guy yet. But trust me when I say HE'S PERFECT...and I'm not just saying that as his mommy! He is a beautiful baby boy and BIG! God has protected our sweet 'little man' as he waits for us BUT now it's time for him to come home! He has two big sisters that are ready to love on him...well, he has one that is definitely ready for him to be home. Sara Kate is still not sure if she's ready to give up her position as baby of the family :) We could not be more happy and are so excited to move one more step forward in this process. We will have to travel to Russia three times before the adoption is complete and we are able to share more specifics about our sweet baby boy but I promise as soon as we can, WE WILL! It's killing me not to be able to show everyone his picture. I'm so excited I want to put it on a billboard and shout the good news everywhere :) It's the EXACT same feeling I had when my girls were born...I love how with every stage of this journey God has shown me the love of a parent really does grow from the heart, and not in the womb. Adoption is such a special gift. Such a beautiful picture of God's love and grace over us, HIS adopted children. This "walk" is so much more than just bringing a baby into our home...it's "the walk" we all begin when we call Him Father. Love Christ and love others...

There are probably some questions you have that we can't answer...not because we aren't allowed but because WE don't have the answer yet. The most common...when will we get to bring him home? We don't know! When will we travel for the first time? We don't know :) but hope to know in the next few weeks! I'll update the blog as things happen and post as much information as I can. If you have questions, send me an email. I can share a lot more on a personal level than I can "publicly." Please keep praying for us. An adoption is never final until it's FINAL! Please pray for no surprises or delays in the process. We do know God's timing is perfect but we also know we are to ask Him for the desire's of our heart...so please pray with us for our baby to be home as soon as possible. (I've selfishly chosen the date of Nov. 17th. and although I know that is almost impossible, I also know ALL THINGS are possible for God.) I trust His timing, even if it's not mine :) Please continue to pray for His provision of funds and His protection over our baby boy.

We are so blessed! Even though it wasn't always easy, I praised God as I was "throwing fits of disappointment" earlier in this journey. So I'm completely humbled to praise Him tonight in the joy of knowing our son is just a few more steps away! God is sovereign and His plan is perfect...as soon as I saw his face I knew God created this precious boy to be my son. Thank you God for your gift once again...thank you with all my heart!

UPDATE...finally:)

I just wanted to give everyone a quick "adoption related" update...it's been a while, i know.

I apologize for not keeping everyone informed but as with all adoptions our information changes constantly and I'm very restricted (legally) by what I'm allowed to share publicly.  As everyone that has followed our journey from the beginning (April) already knows we were told about a set of twin brothers almost immediately. While it wasn't our intention to adopt two we decided we weren't going to limit what God had planned for us. We prayed A LOT and felt a strange peace about adopting two, even though the expense was more than we ever could've planned for. We committed to "walk until we can't walk anymore." We believed if these brothers were meant to be our sons, God would provide a way. Even though we have not "raised" all of the money we needed, we have been offered "last resort" alternative financial options that gave us access to adopting two. We saw God open several doors for us that seemed it was apparent we were following His plan. We opened up our hearts and lives to many, many people through this blog and in our community. We were able to share the love of Christ with strangers that we never would have met if we had not known about the twins in the beginning. However, for about two months now we have been on a roller coaster of not knowing exactly what was going to happen. We always thought money would be the barrier to us adopting two but it turns out circumstances beyond our control will be keeping us from the two baby brothers we thought would be our children.  Without sharing too many details, I'll just say due to medical reasons, the journey to our twin boys is over. 

This sounds sad...but we are totally at peace with it. (of course, we've had our moments but we are good now:)) Our agency offered to find us another set of brothers (twins or young enough to fit our family dynamic).  But after much prayer and discussion, we decided to ask them to re-submit our paperwork for one sweet baby boy who will soon be our son:) It was never "our" plan to adopt two and as Dustin said "I don't want to try to make this happen now. We felt God leading us in that direction but the door has now been closed. If He wants us to adopt two, it'll happen regardless of how many our paperwork says." So going back to our commitment in the beginning "to walk to the twins," we can't walk anymore. The door was not shut, it was slammed:) We both feel a peace about adopting one. As a very sweet friend told me last week... God is sovereign. When this is all over we'll look at our son and know it all happened exactly at it was suppose to and it'll be good! (And she knows what she's talking about! :))

SO...that is the update. We are super excited to be moving forward and can not wait to bring our baby boy home...praying sooner rather than later. And we are still fundraising. I think at last count we are in need of about $10, 000. If you'd like to purchase a Southern Belle shirt we still have a few left. You can also make a fun donation to www.ironbowladoption.com or you can send a "tax deductible" donation to Fellowship Church (put "adoption" in the "for" line). For more information about our fundraising, you can send me a note at polkadoption@gmail.com. We are so thankful for everything you have all done for us. We have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of support and prayer we've received. We are so blessed! Thank you from the bottom of my heart...

Throwing the flower girl's head piece...

Do you remember what you were doing ten years ago today??? I do! I was throwing my flower girl's head piece our florist had just delivered across Mrs. Shirley's dining room table. Not my proudest moment :) Normal wedding stress and a bit too much 'baby's breath' sent me over the edge into a "bridezilla" moment. Can you say spoiled brat? Absolutely! I'm so thankful that even then I had godly women in my life to keep my materialistic and sometimes shallow soul grounded :) After I finished pitching my little fit about the 'oh-so-important' ring of mostly baby's breath to adorn the flower girls head; my mom, Mrs. Shirley and my bridesmaids were there to join hands and pray me back to reality.

Looking back I see how silly I acted about something that really didn't matter at all. I'd like to think I've grown and matured over the past ten years but if I'm honest I really haven't. True, I probably wouldn't throw a head piece across the table today...that's just because God has improved my self-control and given me greater conviction. But in my heart I still pitch fits about life's little disappointments. Just yesterday I had to "check myself" over the Southern Belle shirts. When they arrived, the shade of yellow I was expecting wasn't quite the shade that was printed. But is that really important? Well, I actually let it upset me for a little while. Luckily, I have grown to a place where God can quickly get my attention and remind me above all HE is my priority. Yes, the yellow was a little off...and yes, Southern Belle even offered to re-print all of the shirts, but what is the eternal aspect of this situation? While I was very "nice" when talking with the SWEET lady about my concern over the t-shirts...what message does it send about my ministry if I ask her to reprint 250 shirts just because I wanted a lighter shade of yellow??? As soon as I got off the phone with her I regretted even bringing it up...still a brat at heart:) Maybe a more "mature brat" but a brat all the same.

See I've come to realize, while I really do detest baby's breath and I'm not a fan of the 'golden yellow,' that's not really what caused me to act like a two year old. The root cause was it didn't meet MY expectation...MY plan. I know there are circumstances in life where quality, details and personal taste are important, but never at the expense of how we represent Christ to the world...and more importantly how we represent ourselves to Christ. And I think you'll find, like me, most of our "fits" happen when OUR plans get disrupted. Total surrender is such an easy concept but so impossible to do. But how much sweeter would our lives be if we would just embrace the grace and love of Christ and give HIM control over every aspect of our life. Life's disappointments may not seem quite so bad if we keep our focus on Him who gave us this life. 

So yes, this does mean that ten years ago today we were preparing for the day that I would marry the man that my mother prayed God would bring into my life. For the man God specifically made for me. If you haven't figured it out by now, I'm not an easy gal to live with :) My emotions are crazy and my needs and wants change daily...but God created a man to ride the emotion roller-coaster with me and adapt to my ever changing wants and needs in Dustin. He is my perfect partner. He makes me a better wife, mother, friend and Christ-follower. Dustin, August 25th of 2001 was the best day of my life and I pray we will read this 50 years from now and laugh hysterically at the crazy times we've had, crazy children we have raised and the crazy life we have lived all for the glory of God! I love you :) Happy (early) Anniversary!

Look how young we look...and skinny!
We are definitely happier now :)

As I mentioned, the Southern Belle shirts have come in. If you have ordered one, I'll be getting with you soon about how to get them delivered. If you didn't pre-order but would like one let me know. We do have some extra's in each size! They are $20. Here are some pics of the final product (and despite my little freak out over the yellow...they turned out precious!)

Southern Belle's know no matter how motherhood
comes to you it is a gift from God!



My cutie pies modeling the "shirts to help us get our brothers"



baseball paci's and school supplies

So it's that time of year...the first day of school! Well, in our little family, it will be the "first" first day of school. Carsyn starts kindergarten next week. How is that possible? I've read many tearful Facebook posts from my Mississippi friends sharing in my "letting go" anxieties since their "babies" already started school this week. You know, when you were a kid you heard grown-ups say, "they just grow up too fast" and you thought they were crazy. Elementary school seemed like an eternity. But now on the other side, as a "grown up" I totally understand what the adults were talking about. Life really is short and we don't have enough time with our babies...

With this big event looming in our near future, I've found myself ultra nostalgic and "clingy" with my girls. I had a few hours alone today and thought I'd take advantage of the free time to get Carsyn's school supply list knocked out. Today may have not been the best timing to surround myself with the reminder that my "baby" is now a big girl that needs school supplies:) I was already a little emotional because earlier I had received an email I'd been looking forward to for several months now. After countless hours and month's of paperwork, several trips to local government entities, multiple attempts to obtain proper clearances and documents, hundreds of photocopies, a couple meetings with my favorite notary and social worker:) and a morning in Montgomery at the Secretary of  State's office, our file for the adoption is finally complete and on it's way to Russia! This is BIG news. We are one step closer to bringing our boys home. As I walked into Walmart, this good news was on my mind. After finding all of the normal school supplies, I went on to find the items listed that were not in the "school supply" section. One was baby wipes.

I walked through the baby section toward the wipes and noticed the pacifiers...referred to as "paci" by my girls. I stopped. I'm at crossroad right now with Sara Kate. She turned two this summer. We've had a lot going on the past few months. We've made multiple long road trips, we are getting ready to transition her to a "big girl" bed and we are getting ready to add two more children to our family. I haven't felt like now is the best time to take her paci away. However, she is getting older and she is very attached to it. We have lost all of her paci's but one! So, I've decided we aren't buying anymore. Once this one is gone, it's gone. BUT she has chewed a hole in it and I'm afraid she'll chew it off and be very upset during our five hour ride back to Birmingham. So I stared at the cute pink paci's hanging on the shelf debating whether to buy a pack "just in case." Then I caught myself looking at the super cute "boy" paci's that were designed like various balls. There was a baseball and a football paci. My mind wandered to thinking "Oh so cute...I should get these for the boys." AND THEN IT HIT ME...by the time we get them home they will probably be too old to take a paci. We are already missing so much of their little lives. The tears started to flow. And with the reality of how fast Carsyn has grown up so fresh on my heart, another minute away from my babies is just too long. I pray the rest of this adoption will go by quickly so we can love on our baby boys and not waste another minute without them. So if you were at the Ocean Springs Walmart today, that was me...I was the crazy chick bawling on the paci aisle:) 

The moral of this story...enjoy and make good use of the time we have with our babies. Even grown babies. I'm sure my mom and dad agree as they prepare to send my "little" sister Courtney off to the mission field, it doesn't matter how old your child is, it's never easy to let go of your "baby." Whether it's to kindergarten, college, their spouse or to the world to spread the love of Christ. With such a short window of time, we must daily impact our children for His Kingdom...we must daily impact the world. God uses our children to remind us so many things. It's no doubt He uses our babies to show us Psalm 39:4-5  "Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered- how fleeting my life is. You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath.” Make the most of every breath...

Here's the evidence of us making the most of our last days of summer:)



Carsyn with our new friend, Irina.





How can something so cute have such an attitude??? :)

For Sara Kate, it's been the "summer of the tutu."

Carsyn is in "bubble heaven"

Just nothing more precious...

"IT IS FINISHED..." :)







You can never have too many...

CUTE T-SHIRTS!!! :)

Please support our adoption fundraising by ordering a super cute Southern Belle T-shirt. They are on a teal blue shirt, with bright yellow and hotpink accents and black writing. They are "just fabulous" and I can't thank my sweet friend, Heather Allen, enough for organizing this fundraiser for us! The shirts are $20 for adult sizes and $15 for children's sizes. The design is below...



If you'd like to order, you can leave comments below with the size you'd like and I'll email you payment options. You can also send an email to polkadoption@gmail.com to place an order or on my Facebook page.

I've also been asked a few times if we are still doing the Iron Bowl Adoption fundraiser. We definitely are! It'll run until the week of the Iron Bowl! We are hoping to have an exciting announcement very soon regarding this fundraiser...(hint: "stay tuned" for exciting developments.) If you'd like to vote for Alabama or Auburn to win our allegiance, go to www.ironbowladoption.com and donate :)

Adoption is a rollercoaster...we have great days, we have not-so-great days. We experience victory, we experience defeat. But the one constant in this process has been the support of our amazing family, friends, church and community! We couldn't do this without you...thank you from the bottom of my heart~

Be joyful with little and plenty...of vacuum cleaners :)

How on Earth have I managed to blow up two vacuum cleaners in less than 12 months??? OK the first one was kind of my fault. I didn't clean it out enough but I didn't realize the machine was so "high maintenance" until it was too late. However, I still haven't figured out what happened to the second one. I was just vacuuming and as I was about finished with the entire house the piece where the filter fits in on the side literally fell off onto my breakfast room rug...leaving behind remnants of melted plastic on the rug! I have NO IDEA why it melted off but I was SO irritated to have to buy another vacuum.

The first vacuum cleaner I LOVED! It was compact and light weight and had amazing suction! I was really sad when it bit the dust :) Not only was I upset because this vacuum made my cleaning endeavors easier but also because the timing was terrible. It quit working the week before the adoption fundraiser/yard sale we had back in April. A time when we became totally focused on saving and raising money for our adoption. A vacuum cleaner wasn't in the budget...and still isn't. So imagine how excited I was when the day before the yard sale my sweet neighbor shows up with a bunch of items to donate and one of them was a perfectly working vacuum.

At the time I was grateful but didn't see the significance of "a need" being met at just the right time. The most recent vacuum cleaner fatality that occurred at the Polk house was last week, the day before we were set to leave for "home" on the coast. We had a precious missionary coming to stay in our home and I wanted to make sure everything was spotless for her. This was the day my "new to me" hand me down vacuum cleaner melted to pieces. But I didn't let it get me down. :) We have tried to remain focused on glorifying God throughout this process and trust that because we've remained faithful in giving to others, He will continue to provide for us. If I let myself dwell on the money it would take to buy a new vacuum, I'd have gotten really mad! You see, buying cleaning equipment irritates me as much as buying tires! If I'm going to spend hundreds of dollars on something, it should at the very least help somebody OR be pretty or shiny or fun or have a high heel :) A machine that sucks up dirt doesn't fit any part of that description!

We had a great visit at "home" with family and friends. We capped off the week by saying good bye (for now) to some very dear friends that are moving across the country...three time zones away...to California. Luckily, they will be "behind" us so Amy and I can still have our 9 am chats only it'll be 6 am her time:) You know that feeling you get in your stomach when you know you are about to have to do something you really don't want to but you have to...well when I walked up to their "seminary sale" Saturday morning to say "goodbye" that's the sensation I had in my gut. So how awesome is it that to ease the sadness of the situation, there was a vacuum cleaner sitting there waiting for a new home? :) After a tearful goodbye, I drove off in my "mommyvan" with my "new to me" vacuum cleaner sitting in the back. And then it dawned on me...God did it again! I have now needed a vacuum cleaner TWO times since this adoption started and without asking around or putting any effort at all into finding a cheap enough machine to get by until we are operating on a "normal budget" again, God has met that need. Significant? Not really...unless you consider $500 will pay for a home study review fee, or Registration fee, or Post-Placement fee, or two Visa's, or a Russian Medical Exam, or both boy's passport's, or 50 documents to be apostilled, or half our USCIS fee, or half of a round trip flight to Russia, or half of our "gift" to the orphanage...OR a vacuum cleaner.

God reminds me daily every $500 or $50 or $5 we save or raise is significant in this process. And if we are faithful to continue supporting other ministry, even when it's very tempting to focus all of our resources on the work we've been called to right now, He will be faithful in providing for us. NOW do you see why I'm so excited about a used vacuum cleaner? :)   Phil. 4:12

Happy Monday!

I've never thought of myself as an atheist...

Everyone inherits traits from their family members...good and bad. I'm always cold! :) You don't have to look far in my family tree to see where I get this from. My grandmother, Edna Brady, is known in our family for wearing a jacket even in 90 degree weather. Well, one trait I got from her late husband, my "grandpa Brady" is to worry...about everything. :) My whole life I've been called a "worry wart." I can even remember as a young child my dad telling me "you are just like your grandfather. You worry about things that haven't even happened yet." I guess that is why I've been desensitized to how harmful (and sinful) "worry" can actually be in your life. It's been a part of "who I am" for so long the effects of it are also just part of the "life I live."

Obviously walking this adoption journey has provided plenty of opportunity to worry. From little issues like Dustin's FBI clearance taking forever to come in to BIG things like how to come up with THOUSANDS of dollars to be able to bring our children home. Uncharacteristically of me, for a big portion of this adoption, I was not stressed, worried or anxious about any of it. Don't misunderstand me, I had moments of doubt or anxiety but because we were focused on Christ through this process the worry would quickly diminish. Keeping our focus on His glory and plan kept me from carrying around the constant weight of this HUGE step of faith we call adoption. Until a few weeks ago...

As I shared in the last post, we received a gift from some dear, Christ-like friends that enabled us to move forward to the next step in adopting twin boys...a direct answer to prayer.  I didn't know why but after the elation of our most recent "win" in the adoption process wore off I felt a bigger burden on me than ever before. There were a few things that weren't going quite the way "we" wanted and then ,of course, this constant reminder about the money we have left to raise. However, our situation was no different than it had been in the beginning. If anything it was better...we are closer to our goal and we've had several BIG indicators that we are totally within God's will for this situation. So why am I letting this bother me now... four months into the process when I haven't really worried about it before. A few weeks passed and the consuming stress was beginning to take it's toll.

One Sunday night I was listening to a "guest pastor" share a message on Phillipians 4. I've heard most of it before. Typical, "don't worry or be anxious for anything" scripture I've read hundreds of times. I've been told my whole life as a "worrier" :) to give it God, we aren't suppose to worry. But something I've never heard was this quote...

"The extent to which we worry is the extent to which we are an atheist at that moment. An atheist is a "no god person" and when we worry God is not a percieved reality in our lives."

I've never thought of myself as an atheist. In fact, the accusation would be hurtful. My faith is very important to me. IT'S "WHO I AM." This quote spoke loudly to me...you can't be a "worry wart" and a beleiver in Christ at the same time. To worry is to NOT TRUST God...the core foundation of what makes my relationship with Christ real. So to transparently look into my life the past few weeks and see the faith of an "atheist" was disappointing. Especially when God is so faithful and loving to me. All He asks for is my trust in Him. I fail so miserably...but He knew I would which is why He gives us undeserved grace.

The difference in that "down" time and the months prior that were "worry free" was my focus. I got distracted by the "task at hand" and accomplishing it myself instead of trusting Him with every step and rejoicing in the Lord. Phillipians 4 was a great encouragment to me that if Christ is REALLY at the center of everything in my life 'His peace will guard my heart and mind." And a great reminder that even though I think I'M walking this path in faith...really He is carrying me the entire journey. :) 

playing phone tag...

If you are a close friend of mine you know "phone tag" is a game I play everyday. I rarely keep my phone with it's bulky (but necessary with kids) Otterbox cover in my pocket. Honestly, there are many times I have no idea where my phone is just as a result of the glorious chaos and "busyness" a day chasing two children, running the roads, cleaning, cooking, errands, and other chores seems to bring. I totally relate to the song, "This is the stuff" by Francesca Battistelli..."I lost my keys in the great unknown. And call me please, cause I can't find my phone." Yep that's me! :) If you've never heard this song you really need to. Its the perfect "put a smile on your face" tune for a Monday morning.

Anyway, I have played "phone tag" with a dear friend of mine that lives in another state for a few weeks. Well, really months. The last I talked to her was the day this journey to twin boys really got kicked off. She was an immediate encouragement and prayer partner. We've text and left messages but no actual conversation for a while. I got a text from her two nights ago to call her when I got the kids to bed. Well, I responded that I would but my phone had other plans. It went dead shortly after the girl's bed time. By dead I mean not low battery dead, like dead dead:) It's a game my phone has been playing for a few weeks now. It just decides it wants to rest and doesn't wake up until it wants to. It's really annoying but after this expereince I am again reminded to appreciate the mundane things God uses to work in us...as Francesca Battistelli sings, "This is the stuff You use." Needless to say, we didn't talk that night.

When the Iron Bowl Adoption Fundraiser was launched we didn't have many expectations for it. We've prayed consistently from the beginning that God would use our adoption journey as way to reach people for His glory and to encourage others to adopt. Our prayer has been for exposure...to our adoption, our story, our God. Of course, we do need to raise money, but that is secondary to making His story known. With that said we have now come to a point where we are totally leaning on God for provision. We have used all of our savings to get us to this phase of the adoption process and when our next round of fees are due we will be short about $5000. I had a moment of weakness last week when the enormity of the cost started to weigh on me.  I began to question whether we are suppose to adopt two. I discussed it with my mom and sister and they were nothing but encouraging...pointing to all God has done so far to indicate we are doing what He has planned for us. As my mom was getting ready to leave Birmingham she offered to give us the money we needed to make it to the next step of this process. Humbly, I refused it because I knew we hadn't given God a chance to provide.

Fast forward a week to the same day I got a text from my "phone tag" friend...I had a meeting with our agency discussing the next steps for our adoption. She mentioned when we submit everything in the next two weeks we will have to be more specific about which child/children we are desiring to adopt. Namely, are we going to adopt twin boys or are we going to try for just one? After our discussion I began to have doubt again. See, we have enough money in savings to pay this round of fees for one. The additional money we need is because we are hoping to adopt two brothers.  Dustin and I both started having the same doubts that night. While the Iron Bowl Adoption website has exceeded our expectations in how many people have seen it, we never really thought it would raise thousands of dollars. (Although we believe God will continue to use it as a tool to provide and who knows what the total amount will end up being come SEC kickoff weekend :) God can really surprise us especially when we don't expect it. )We have a few more fundraisers planned for late summer/early fall but nothing in the near future. So where would we get the additional $5,000 we needed to move forward? The actual prayer was "If Your plan is for us to adopt two, please show us by providing the money for this next step. God, we told You we'd walk until we couldn't walk any further. Is this the end of the journey for us?"

Early the next morning I was cleaning up breakfast dishes and my phone rings. It was my sweet "phone tag" friend. Finally, we've connected:) We talked for a while and then she asks, "What are your needs for the adoption right now?" I casually answered, "Well we will really need between $4000 to $5000 for the next round of fees." And that's when I got to experience the presence of God AGAIN! She and her husband had decided a while back that God wanted them to provide $5000 of our adoption expenses. Overwhelmed with emotion, we finished our conversation. I spent much of the day on my knees in thanks! Do you realize the significance of not only God's gift through these precious friends but the timing of it? If we didn't play constant phone tag and talked earlier in the process or had we accepted the funds from my mother the week prior, we wouldn't have the answer to our prayer we prayed wanting guidance about how many children to adopt. If my phone had not died the night before, we would have never prayed this prayer. It was a faith building exercise totally orchestrated by an amazing God! :) And He showed us once again, continue walking to your TWO boys!

In classic girl fashion, I called my mother immediately to tell her the wonderful news. She was somewhat amazed. I know the gift we were given was HUGE but I was a little surprised by how shocked she was, but it was because there was even more to this story I didn't know. After the conversation I had last week with my mom and sister, Courtney, expressing my concern and doubt about adopting two, my sister spent time in prayer asking God to provide us with a $5000 gift to alleviate our doubts and fears. She told only my mom about her prayer the next day on their long drive back to the coast. God  had not only answered our prayer for guidance in our aodption, he answered Courtney's specific prayer for $5000. WOW! I still tear up as I write this. We discount so many acts of God as everyday happenings. I felt compelled to share this very long :) story with you because we so often forget it's the little everyday things that God can be most glorified in IF we let Him. I pray this story is also a reminder for you to see God where we sometimes forget to seek Him...everyday life. "This is the stuff You use."

To contribute through our Iron Bowl Adoption Fundraiser, go to http://www.ironbowladoption.com/ and vote for your favorite team. This is a fun way to make smaller donations to help us out...we need the $5 donation as much as we needed the $5000:) No amount is too small to accomplish the end goal of bringing our two babies home.We thank you for your support and for sharing our blog and/or website with anyone you think may be interested in helping or will join in praying for us through out this process:) We are so blessed by you!

Have you ever had a haircut that made you cry?



The Polk Family* June 2011* GO STATE!

If you are a girl, you know at some point you've gotten a hair cut or color that you totally hated and there was that awkward moment of tears in front of the person that gave you "bad hair" :) Well, I was definitely crying as I walked out of The Hair and Nail Group in Hoover last week...but not because of "bad hair." My hairdresser, and friend, Miranda has never put me in tears because of an awful cut or color. Actually, she does a fabulous job and I'm so lucky to have her talent working on my head of hair:) This appointment was no different. We talked for the hour and half that it took to work her magic, mostly about our adoption and related issues, and then voila perfect color and trim complete. This wasn't the point of tears...it was a little later. Something Miranda doesn't know is I actually dreaded this appointment.  And for no reason other than finances. I had somewhat forgot about the appointment until my alarm clock went off that morning and my calendar on my phone reminded me of it. To my credit this forgetfulness is probably due to the wonderful medication I had been taking days prior because of my surgery...which went very well by the way:) At the Polk house we have started living off of what I would call "survival budget." Don't get me wrong, if we NEED something we'll splurge to get it but otherwise we've been putting every extra penny into savings for our adoption. I felt really guilty about going to get my hair highlighted and dreaded paying for it because of that guilt. But I definitely didn't want to cancel on Miranda at the last minute and if you had seen my roots you might argue this appointment was, in fact, a "need.” :) However, when we reached the register, Miranda said "Don't worry about it. It's my contribution to your adoption." WOW! Thank you God for your provision. And that's when the tears came ....

 God seems to be providing for us in some of the most unexpected ways. If you're reading this and thinking, "Really? This chick is praising God for a highlight?" Well, yes. Yes, I am. You see God reminded that day that if He cares enough to provide for a haircut (and ease my guilt :)), then surely He cares enough to provide a way to pay for our adoption. AND there's more to this story. While Miranda was working on my hair, the girl working next to her joined in our conversation; revealing she would also like to adopt. Her first question was, "I don't want to be nosey, but how are ya'll going to pay for it?" She had done some research and immediately was overwhelmed by the costs. As is the case for most people, including us! I tried to explain how God provides but I never can seem to do justice to His wonderment in words.  I give examples of what we've experienced but people still don't understand. SO...that day, He decided to “show” her co-worker what His provision looks like through Miranda's gift. Totally normal, though unexpected, everyday acts of kindness of behalf of our adoption. When it happens, I can totally feel His presence...that's why I cry. He completely humbles me once again and I am reminded how good the God I serve truly is!

Going through the adoption process is a very humbling experience. From day one you are an open book to your home study agency, your adoption agency, your government, the country your adopting from's government, and if you’re like us, to everyone that has decided to support you in the journey. I try to be as transparent as I can be with you...nothing sugar coated or fake. Here is where we are...home study is complete (minus Dustin's FBI clearance) however our wonderful social worker proactively sent on the study to our agency for review. It's been reviewed and all we are waiting on is the clearance. Please pray it come very soon. Then our completed dossier will be sent to the agency for final review and then sent on to Russia. We are still hoping to adopt twin brothers but have no official word yet. Our strategy is to be ready to go bring these little guys home whenever we can. So we are being diligent in our paperwork BUT we've been slow to ask for help....

Why is it so hard to ask for help? Especially in an area of life God has commanded us to serve. He's pretty clear ALL Christians should care for orphans, so why does it feel so awkward to ask for support in our adoption of two orphans? Obviously if you've followed our blog you know we do not have the $80,000 it is going to take to bring our children home. We began this “walk” in complete faith that God will provide. We have devoted all of our savings and any extra money in the mean time to this ministry but we will never come up with that much money on our own in such a short period of time. But we are realizing that was exactly God's plan in this journey. Fundraising is going to be a big part of this story and through it, His glory will be known to many more people than just a small circle of family and friends. If we have to depend on Him to provide then we aren't in control and we are vulnerable. But why is that scary in an adoption? Isn't this true of every aspect of our lives? He loves us more than we can ever understand...isn't that who we want in total control of our lives? So then there is this idea...if we have to ask for help, isn't that a sign of weakness?

II Corinthians 12:7-10 says, "So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

'Orphans and widows and the weakest among us,' they are mentioned in scripture frequently with favor and instruction to care for them. I find myself now thanking Him for my brokenness and for bringing us to total dependency in this adoption process. If I appear to be in control, have it all together, then I'm not a major player in His story. If the world can look at me and explain away the miracle of impossible situations becoming possible because of my own glory, then God can't use me. At the time I am writing this, the largest contribution that has been made to our adoption was by a young missionary that is completely supported through individuals donating to her ministry. We have received several donations and we appreciate them all very much. But there was something so special about a donation that came from someone “financially weak” by worldly standards and forgetting her own needs trusted God enough to give sacrificially to our adoption. This missionary's generous gift keeps reminding me that “in my weaknesses, I am strengthened...”

So now, very humbled and in awe of how God is using us, we are asking for your help to finish His work in our adoption. We have kicked off our first fundraiser today. Dustin has developed a website for a little healthy “in state rivalry”. As you already know we are Mississippi State fans. We have been told many times we were suppose to chose an “Iron Bowl” team when we crossed the state lines but we never have...until now. Please go to http://ironbowladoption.com/ and donate to this fundraiser. We aren't asking for big donations, although they'd be grealty appreciated. :) But we're hoping for small gifts from A LOT of people. The more people that hear our story, the more Christ will be glorified through our adoption!  We are hoping this will be a fun way to raise some money and further spread the story of the “impossible” adoption journey we are “walking” with a God that makes ALL things possible. Please also pass it on to anyone you think would want to help. We are also working on a way for you to make donations on our behalf to an organization that will be tax-deductible. If you'd like more information email us at polkadoption@gmail.com and we can get it to you.  We can't thank you enough for your prayers and support. We are completely blessed by you!



The Polk girls are all smiles! We can't wait to meet
our "baby brothers."









 





The Last 46,146 minutes

I'm not sure where to even begin...it's been a month since my last update. This is partly because we've been crazy busy, partly because I have had nothing "official" to report, partly because I don't know what details to share and partly because everytime I begin to write I feel this overwhelming sense to "be still."

Hearts for Hackleburg :)

In this one month we have witnessed great destruction in our "Sweet Home" state...we have reached out to those affected by the April 27th tornados and prayed with those that lost loved ones. We have offered our muscles, ears, shoulders and hearts to a small town no one had ever heard of (until Brett Farve decided to stop by:) ) in hopes that, just maybe through these small acts the love of Christ would be felt in Hackleburg.  We have cooked, shopped, loaded and hauled. We have laughed and we have cried with these sweet people. We have seen destruction on a scale only the majesty of God can explain but we have seen kindness and love just as majestic. Amidst all the craziness of this life we have also had much to celebrate. We have celebrated the many physical lives spared and the spiritual lives changed, we have celebrated the resurrection of our Savior, we have celebrated mother's day, celebrated a birthday, watched as other's celebrated the death of Bin Laden...and now we celebrate the discovery of an answer to a question I really thought would be a mystery to us forever....the answer is gallbladder. :) The question,

WHAT ON EARTH IS CAUSING MY SIDE AND BACK TO HURT LIKE THIS???  :)

I've been "coping" with aches and pains in my side since I was pregnant with Sara Kate and it's been driving me CRAZY! At first I thought the dull ache to sharp pain in my right lower rib was little feet wedged in my rib cage. But after those little feet made their entrance into the world, I was confused why it didn't go away. So I began to describe to my doctor what I called "phantom pain" because I thought my body was just "remembering" the pain from pregnancy. It would come and go and vary with intensity. It progressed from only upper abdominal pain to radiating to my middle back. Finally, in February of last year I got so aggravated with it I went to the doctor wanting answers. He did an ultrasound, blood work, CT scan ...everything looked normal. So I assumed at that point it was an annoyance I'd have to live with. Well, I have been living with it for over a year now and I'm at the point of wanting to do surgery on myself :)...just get it out! All the mommies can relate to this frustration...it's like at the end of a pregnancy you are so miserable all you can think about is GET THIS BABY OUT! I'm at that point but until last week I wasn't 100% sure of the cause of the pain. I finally had a HIDA scan done last week (I say finally because my own stubborness has been putting it off, as I was totally convinced nothing was wrong and it would be a waste of my time:) ) and it showed my gallbladder functioning at less than 9% and thus the source of my problem. I will have it removed on May 27th. Prayers are greatly appreciated although I'm quite certain the surgery will be no big deal and I'll be so relieved to feel "normal" again that I'll have very little down time. Don't you wish you got to be the person that had me as a patient??? :) Admittedly, I'm very hard headed and non-compliant! So pray for everyone around me as well! :)

Sara Kate turned two years old on May 15th. She may be itty bitty but she has a mighty two year old attitude. :) When I look at her I'm amazed...she is such a cutie and a miracle in her own way. Looking back to the season of life when I wondered if we would be blessed with another child seems like another lifetime ago. God is amazing! He is so faithful and now my answered prayer is two...



Blowing out the candles!



On a serious note, as I mentioned above, we have been busy this past month. Part of that time we were blessed to be able to serve in Hackleburg, AL. If you're not familiar with this area, it's a small town that was almost completely destroyed by a F5 tornado. Hopefully soon I can share some of our experiences from that time. God provided precious moments and testimonies is the midst of this tragedy. The spirit of the people in this town is so strong and one thing I learned after Hurricane Katrina is to look for the blessings in the "storms of this life." It's not always easy in that moment but on the other side you can see how perfectly orchestrated for God's glory something like a devastating tornado can be for a community, a life...an eternity. Hackleburg will recover but the efforts are on going. Please continue to pray for and support the people across this country experiencing great trials because of weather related tragedy.

And of course, please continue to pray for our adoption journey. Yes, it's still the "walk" of a lifetime. Definitely a marathon rather than a sprint. I'm totally convinced God calls only the most impatient people to adopt and then has a good laugh through out the process. :) We are pretty much complete with all of our paperwork that we can do. We are still waiting on clearances to come in from the FBI and state of Mississippi. Once those are here we will have our documents apostilled in Montgomery and sent on to the agency and then to Russia. We are still hoping to be able to adopt two sweet brothers and we hope to soon have more information. I'm "impatiently" waiting. :) Things are positive and on a good track to the successful adoption of two children:) So keep the prayers coming....

Licking the Bowl...



The birthday boy and Prince of the Polk castle!

The "homemade" Pillsbury cake!













 

We've had quite a weekend celebrating Dustin's birthday! Times have definitely changed....the only guilt now associated with our "crazy parties" is the amount of calories we consumed:) (Thank you God for your mercy in our younger years!) Of course, even though we have grown so much in our spritiual walk since becoming "adults" we still have so far to go. I think it's a never ending process. The more we know, the more we realize we don't know.  Once God allows us to grasp one concept, we discover another we are totally confused by. This alone is enough to keep us constantly seeking Him and studying His Word, but I'm really beginning to understand how much I need God's direction when it comes to parenting....

Around the Polk house we have a birthday tradition. Everyone gets a homemade birthday cake on their birthday...and by homemade I mean from a box but cooked in our oven and decorated with love:) Yesterday, while Sara Kate was napping, Carsyn and I decided it was a perfect time to work on daddy's cake.  I measured out all of the ingredients and let Carsyn pour them in. She even cracked all three eggs into the bowl without having to fish out any of the shells...pretty impressive for a five year old! After putting the cake in the oven we began what naturally comes next...licking the bowl:) Now you would think after thirty years of cake batter, Dustin and I would just be nice and let the girls have it all. Absolutely NOT! There is just no substituion for some good yellow cake batter! We all still fight over the beaters, the bowl and the spoon:) Luckily this time, Sara Kate was asleep and Dustin wasn't around so Carsyn and I had it all to ourselves.  She grabbed one beater and I got the other. We started licking the outside of the beater, once they were all clear, we started on the inside. It was then that it hit me...I felt like I was looking in a mirror! She was following the exact same "licking routine" that I do. It was like a sunchronized event and I could see myself in her. I stopped to soak in the moment. Then I asked her, "Why do you do it like that?" As she continued licking she said, "Do what?" I replied, "Lick the outside of every prong before licking the inside." She casually said, "I don't know momma. I just always watch you do it that way." WOW! Without intending to teach her how to lick the beaters, I have instilled in her a very specific routine to follow. What else have I unintentionally taught my child? I am hopeful there have been a lot of great lessons I've unknowingly passed on, but I'm fearful there have been negative ones as well.



Mommy and Carsyn "licking" it up! :)

A few years back I realized (thanks to a great Beth Moore study, Daniel) that if we aren't living intentional lives for the Lord then we will be consumed by the world. As a couple, it's been sort of a theme for how we make decisions with our finances but honestly hasn't seeped into our parenting. Oh how much we have to learn! :) You would think being parents for a whole five years now we'd sort of have this thing figured out. (I do hope you can hear the sarcasm in my voice with this last sentence:)  Just when I think we are doing ok, God uses something (usually precious, silly Carsyn) to show me just like everything else in life, parenting is a never ending process that constantly changes and evolves. Please don't misunderstand me, we do teach scripture, Bible stories, and pray with our children. But this moment in our kitchen was a reminder that those times I unintentionally begin to let me faith settle I'm not only affecting my "walk" but my children see it too.  I know the only constant in this world is Christ. I must be intentional in sharing, modeling and exhibiting my faith to my daughters. The best way for this to happen...through my daily life with a heart consumed for Him.

There is a song that perfectly captures my intentions for life in words. If I can achieve this only a fraction of the time, I know my girls will be forever impacted for the Kingdom of Christ. The song is Hosanna and this is my hearts desire...

"Heal my heart and make it clean,

Open up my eyes to the things unseen.

Show me how to love like you have loved me.

Break my heart for what breaks yours,

Everything I am for your Kingdom's cause.

As I walk from Earth into Eternity"

http://youtu.be/AQGJdTpMUcU

Our adoption journey continues, as I mentioned before we are in a "holding" pattern:) We have several weeks before we expect to be "paper ready" and I sincerely believe this wait time is a "God-thing." We need this time to pray and discern our next step in this "radical walk." Please continue to pray for God's wisdom and provision in our adoption! For now, all I have to share are the little life moment's God uses to speak to me:) But really, it's these times that make the journey so significant.

Sara Kate enjoying daddy's birthday breakfast...
she ate the tops off of 3 sprinkle donuts
 & she totally did her hair herself today:)

 I do want to wish my sweet husband a very Happy Birthday! I'm so thankful we get to 'walk this road' together:) I hope this year is even better than the last! I love you...and only you know how much:) Also, I feel the need for a little disclaimer...I'm very aware of the "danger" associated with eating cake batter:) However, when it comes to something so delicious, I take into consideration the risk vs. benefit model and have determined the benefit far outweighs the risk! I've been eating it since I was a kiddo and wouldn't dare deprive my babies of something so wonderful! :) ENJOY!