Throwing the flower girl's head piece...

Do you remember what you were doing ten years ago today??? I do! I was throwing my flower girl's head piece our florist had just delivered across Mrs. Shirley's dining room table. Not my proudest moment :) Normal wedding stress and a bit too much 'baby's breath' sent me over the edge into a "bridezilla" moment. Can you say spoiled brat? Absolutely! I'm so thankful that even then I had godly women in my life to keep my materialistic and sometimes shallow soul grounded :) After I finished pitching my little fit about the 'oh-so-important' ring of mostly baby's breath to adorn the flower girls head; my mom, Mrs. Shirley and my bridesmaids were there to join hands and pray me back to reality.

Looking back I see how silly I acted about something that really didn't matter at all. I'd like to think I've grown and matured over the past ten years but if I'm honest I really haven't. True, I probably wouldn't throw a head piece across the table today...that's just because God has improved my self-control and given me greater conviction. But in my heart I still pitch fits about life's little disappointments. Just yesterday I had to "check myself" over the Southern Belle shirts. When they arrived, the shade of yellow I was expecting wasn't quite the shade that was printed. But is that really important? Well, I actually let it upset me for a little while. Luckily, I have grown to a place where God can quickly get my attention and remind me above all HE is my priority. Yes, the yellow was a little off...and yes, Southern Belle even offered to re-print all of the shirts, but what is the eternal aspect of this situation? While I was very "nice" when talking with the SWEET lady about my concern over the t-shirts...what message does it send about my ministry if I ask her to reprint 250 shirts just because I wanted a lighter shade of yellow??? As soon as I got off the phone with her I regretted even bringing it up...still a brat at heart:) Maybe a more "mature brat" but a brat all the same.

See I've come to realize, while I really do detest baby's breath and I'm not a fan of the 'golden yellow,' that's not really what caused me to act like a two year old. The root cause was it didn't meet MY expectation...MY plan. I know there are circumstances in life where quality, details and personal taste are important, but never at the expense of how we represent Christ to the world...and more importantly how we represent ourselves to Christ. And I think you'll find, like me, most of our "fits" happen when OUR plans get disrupted. Total surrender is such an easy concept but so impossible to do. But how much sweeter would our lives be if we would just embrace the grace and love of Christ and give HIM control over every aspect of our life. Life's disappointments may not seem quite so bad if we keep our focus on Him who gave us this life. 

So yes, this does mean that ten years ago today we were preparing for the day that I would marry the man that my mother prayed God would bring into my life. For the man God specifically made for me. If you haven't figured it out by now, I'm not an easy gal to live with :) My emotions are crazy and my needs and wants change daily...but God created a man to ride the emotion roller-coaster with me and adapt to my ever changing wants and needs in Dustin. He is my perfect partner. He makes me a better wife, mother, friend and Christ-follower. Dustin, August 25th of 2001 was the best day of my life and I pray we will read this 50 years from now and laugh hysterically at the crazy times we've had, crazy children we have raised and the crazy life we have lived all for the glory of God! I love you :) Happy (early) Anniversary!

Look how young we look...and skinny!
We are definitely happier now :)

As I mentioned, the Southern Belle shirts have come in. If you have ordered one, I'll be getting with you soon about how to get them delivered. If you didn't pre-order but would like one let me know. We do have some extra's in each size! They are $20. Here are some pics of the final product (and despite my little freak out over the yellow...they turned out precious!)

Southern Belle's know no matter how motherhood
comes to you it is a gift from God!



My cutie pies modeling the "shirts to help us get our brothers"



baseball paci's and school supplies

So it's that time of year...the first day of school! Well, in our little family, it will be the "first" first day of school. Carsyn starts kindergarten next week. How is that possible? I've read many tearful Facebook posts from my Mississippi friends sharing in my "letting go" anxieties since their "babies" already started school this week. You know, when you were a kid you heard grown-ups say, "they just grow up too fast" and you thought they were crazy. Elementary school seemed like an eternity. But now on the other side, as a "grown up" I totally understand what the adults were talking about. Life really is short and we don't have enough time with our babies...

With this big event looming in our near future, I've found myself ultra nostalgic and "clingy" with my girls. I had a few hours alone today and thought I'd take advantage of the free time to get Carsyn's school supply list knocked out. Today may have not been the best timing to surround myself with the reminder that my "baby" is now a big girl that needs school supplies:) I was already a little emotional because earlier I had received an email I'd been looking forward to for several months now. After countless hours and month's of paperwork, several trips to local government entities, multiple attempts to obtain proper clearances and documents, hundreds of photocopies, a couple meetings with my favorite notary and social worker:) and a morning in Montgomery at the Secretary of  State's office, our file for the adoption is finally complete and on it's way to Russia! This is BIG news. We are one step closer to bringing our boys home. As I walked into Walmart, this good news was on my mind. After finding all of the normal school supplies, I went on to find the items listed that were not in the "school supply" section. One was baby wipes.

I walked through the baby section toward the wipes and noticed the pacifiers...referred to as "paci" by my girls. I stopped. I'm at crossroad right now with Sara Kate. She turned two this summer. We've had a lot going on the past few months. We've made multiple long road trips, we are getting ready to transition her to a "big girl" bed and we are getting ready to add two more children to our family. I haven't felt like now is the best time to take her paci away. However, she is getting older and she is very attached to it. We have lost all of her paci's but one! So, I've decided we aren't buying anymore. Once this one is gone, it's gone. BUT she has chewed a hole in it and I'm afraid she'll chew it off and be very upset during our five hour ride back to Birmingham. So I stared at the cute pink paci's hanging on the shelf debating whether to buy a pack "just in case." Then I caught myself looking at the super cute "boy" paci's that were designed like various balls. There was a baseball and a football paci. My mind wandered to thinking "Oh so cute...I should get these for the boys." AND THEN IT HIT ME...by the time we get them home they will probably be too old to take a paci. We are already missing so much of their little lives. The tears started to flow. And with the reality of how fast Carsyn has grown up so fresh on my heart, another minute away from my babies is just too long. I pray the rest of this adoption will go by quickly so we can love on our baby boys and not waste another minute without them. So if you were at the Ocean Springs Walmart today, that was me...I was the crazy chick bawling on the paci aisle:) 

The moral of this story...enjoy and make good use of the time we have with our babies. Even grown babies. I'm sure my mom and dad agree as they prepare to send my "little" sister Courtney off to the mission field, it doesn't matter how old your child is, it's never easy to let go of your "baby." Whether it's to kindergarten, college, their spouse or to the world to spread the love of Christ. With such a short window of time, we must daily impact our children for His Kingdom...we must daily impact the world. God uses our children to remind us so many things. It's no doubt He uses our babies to show us Psalm 39:4-5  "Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered- how fleeting my life is. You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath.” Make the most of every breath...

Here's the evidence of us making the most of our last days of summer:)



Carsyn with our new friend, Irina.





How can something so cute have such an attitude??? :)

For Sara Kate, it's been the "summer of the tutu."

Carsyn is in "bubble heaven"

Just nothing more precious...

"IT IS FINISHED..." :)