It's a girl...but it wasn't a tumor!

Have you ever heard someone say... "God's timing is perfect." Or "God's plan is better than our plan." I have heard it, I have said it. But do we really believe it? This summer Dustin and I will celebrate our 10th anniversary (which doesn't seem possible!) So it will be ten years ago this fall that we met some very dear friends of ours and a couple I'd consider to be one of our first "married" friends. Over the years we became very close to the Dorough's and got to experience many important life events and transitions with them, including their battle with infertility. I saw the heartache they went through month after month and numerous failed attempts to conceive a child. Defeated, they "gave up" the fight and gave it to God. Seven years ago they were given less than a 1% chance of ever conceiving "A" child. Today, I received a text from Gina..."IT'S A GIRL!" Not only is this baby girl so special because according to doctors it would take a miracle for her to get here, but she is super special because she is their THIRD child (conceived without fertility treatment) and their only girl! She has two big "miracle" brothers waiting to cover her with kisses. I immediately teared up at the text. God is so good and yes, this is way better than they could have planned!

The tears came so easily not only because I was overjoyed for these sweet friends but from being already emotional over the news I had just received moments before the text. Last Wednesday, Carsyn's teacher was experiencing a lot of pain in her side. She went to the doctor thinking it was appendicitis only to hear they weren't sure what was wrong and ordered more tests on Friday. On Monday morning, Mrs. Sharon was not at school. We were asked to pray for her. The test on Friday did reveal her appendix needed to be removed immediately. During the emergency surgery, the doctor found a 'softball size' tumor on her colon. He was able to remove it but had to remove part of the organ as well. On Monday, the prognosis was unknown and they were hoping for the best. The pessimistic voice in my head kept saying, "a softball size tumor can not be good!" Over the past two days I have been so burdened for this dear family. I've been praying God's will over her healing and diagnosis but selfishly asking why "we" ever have to endure such trials. Dropping Carsyn off today, I was welcomed by the news that the pathology report came back...it isn't cancer! Not only that, it wasn't a tumor!!! It seems that her appendix had ruptured at some point last week and the "tumor" they found on her colon was actually a pocket of tissue that had collected the toxins instead of letting the poison leak into her body.  God perfectly orchestrated her illness, her surgery, her healing, her testimony...His plan IS so much better than ours!

We had our final home study interview today. It went great! We have such a sweet social worker that is sensitive to our crazy "walk" and is so encouraging and helpful. So, now we wait! We wait for the whole compilation of forms, clearances, and paperwork to be completed in "perfect" timing. When we began this process we committed to each other not to stress or become anxious...this is not my nature:) Tonight, the insanity of the cost and process began to weigh on me. As always, Dustin came to my rescue and reminded me to "be still." He reminded me this is not our adoption, this is God's and we will just be obedient and see where He leads. I find that in the midst of the "highs" I will be attacked and sometimes, I hate to admit, drug down to the "lows". It's in the stillness that I begin to second guess and turn my focus back to worldly things. This is when the reality of how "radical" this walk actually is sinks in and I wonder... "what on earth are we doing?" :) But, it's also in this stillness that God reminds me through the good news for sweet friends that "His plan is way better than mine!"