Today is THE day!

An exerpt from my journal this morning...

This is so bizarre! I'm sitting in Russia, waiting outside a notary office for the official documents to be signed making "Dima" Levi James Polk. I am filing for his new birth certificate...a piece of paper stating we are his parents! This is so surreal. I'm hoping in just a few hours I will pick him up from the orphanage and never let him go. He will be ours! I say hoping because I'm still not feeling great and if I have another "weak-blackout-neasea spell"  like I did yesterday then we are going to wait until tomorrow to get him. So far I'm okay, not great but not about to pass out either:)  It's just such a strange feeling. This adoption has consumed our lives for a year. Every decision we make (from financial to how to spend the day) has been based on this process. We have worked so hard. We have raised a crazy amount of money, which we honestly thought was impossible. We have spent everything we have and taken out a loan in faith that this was the right thing to do. We have sacrificed many "wants" and time with family and friends for this moment to be possible. We have cried, we have laughed, we have filled out literally hundreds of documents, we chased the papertrail from Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, all the way to Oregon and then to Russia, we have traveled all over the world. Since May of 2011, adoption has been our life.  It has consumed our time, money, thoughts and prayers. We embraced the chaos and lived in it for as long as we had to to bring Levi home. And that moment has finally arrived. We are ready for the transition of bringing this sweet boy into our home and all that will entail. I'm just not sure I'm going to know how to adjust back to life before adoption. If you've ever adopted you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, I can't even begin to explain what the experience is like. To be able to spend free time (or just actually have "free time") at the park or the zoo with the girls, to be able to go out of town without fear that we'll get a call about some document that is needed or travel dates, to be able to budget again and not watch every penny that we spend, to have a week where not every single day is filled up with things to do, to just be mommy and wife to my family...these are just a few things I'm looking forward to. When Carsyn was told after the court hearing the judge let us have Levi her response was "Does that mean my momma doesn't have to do anymore paperwork?" This coming from a 6 year old bystander of the past year just about sums up our adoption...totally consuming!

And now here we are. The moment we have prayed about, the day we have begged God for, the time we have felt led to by something much bigger than ourselves or this child...the calling of God on our lives and the desire of our hearts; to care for the orphan. In just a few short hours there will be one less fatherless child in the world! I'm not sure why I've ever doubted this moment would come. God loves adoption and He will bless it! Just because things didn't always happen the way I felt they should or in my timing, I've known all along this is His will for our lives and we would one day be united with our son!

Today is THE day!